If You Need Me
by Ace Bullets
Summary: Greg says a formal goodbye to Donna in the aftermath of the tragedy that rocked the SRU. Spoilers for 'Keep the Peace Pts. 1 & 2'.


**A/N: Hey, massive spoilers for the series finale, 'Keep the Peace' parts I & II. So just in the unlikely event there are folks who read fanfiction who've not actually seen the episodes, you may want to avoid this one. I promise I won't be offended if you hold off reading. **

**In this little story, Greg says goodbye to fallen comrade, Donna Sabine.**

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**If You Need Me**

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Painfully slow movements – hampered more than helped by the cane he gripped in his left hand – caused a grimace of frustration to cross Greg Parker's careworn face. In his right hand, Greg kept careful hold of a bouquet of fragrant yellow roses.

He appreciated the gentle ministrations provided by his girlfriend, Marina, as she seemed to have an innate sense of when her assistance was required and when it wasn't. She was at his right side now, her hand lightly cupping his elbow; not quite guiding or supporting him, but tacitly communicating with that simple touch that she wasn't about to let him take an unceremonious tumble to the ground should he happen to lose his balance.

One week ago, Greg had finally been given the all-clear to leave the hospital where he'd spent the better part of a month recovering from multiple gunshot wounds sustained while attempting to defuse a potentially radioactive bomb. Marcus Faber, an intellectually gifted but horrendously psychologically- damaged young man, had emptied his magazine trying to stop Greg from foiling his final plans for total chaos and destruction. Greg's vest had afforded him some protection, but one of the deadly projectiles found its mark in his left knee, tearing through flesh, bone and cartilage, permanently damaging delicate nerve pathways. Another bullet had found its way through an impossibly small and unprotected area, puncturing a lung and bringing him to death's door. After shooting Faber dead, team leader Ed Lane had tearfully begged Greg to hold on, desperate to preserve the life of this dear friend after already having lost another earlier in the day.

Greg grunted with effort as he hobbled towards his destination, willing the ache in his joint to give him some respite. The soft, carefully-manicured lawn he trod upon was a luscious green, healthy and vibrant, and he was grateful for this very obvious sign of life.

Life: it was a gift he'd been granted yet again after those harrowing hours on that wickedly devastating day where the entire city was under attack. Not so for several dozens of other innocent lives caught up in the blasts that rocked a federal building, City Hall, and an old laboratory housed in the Casey Jeffers Building at Brookfield University. Greg wasn't even sure of the final tally; he'd been out of the loop in the first few days, anyway, and hadn't been privy to the never-ending coverage of the aftermath of the tragedy while in hospital.

A bird's sudden flight from a nearby tree caught Greg's attention, and he paused for a few moments. He followed the bird's path as it circled lazily above him, framed by a bright blue sky. Joined by another, the two winged creatures danced on the breezy currents before settling on another tree branch some distance away.

_Life. _It was a gift denied Donna Sabine.

Donna, who'd been in such cheerful spirits on that day… Donna, who'd been apologetic for arriving late for Sam Braddock and Jules Callaghan's wedding ceremony. Delayed by a debriefing that went longer than anticipated, she'd told him that she had no intention of missing the reception that was scheduled to take place once the members of Team One got through their own shift that fateful day. Donna, who herself, had only been married a year earlier… She had shared a few other playful remarks with Wordy and Ed before Team One had to clock in, none of them ever imagining it would be the last time they would all be together; that it would be the last casual conversation they would ever share.

Greg continued on, more determined than ever that he was going to get through this; that he was going do what he'd been unable to do last month due to his convalescence.

He passed rows of well-tended headstones, crosses, marble slabs and granite markers, many of them with bright bouquets laid upon them, lending some much-needed colour to an otherwise dreary amalgamation of white, grey, and slate-coloured stone carved with names and dates of the deceased. Votive candles flickered on other plots, keeping silent vigil for the souls being memorialized there.

A few minutes later, he and Marina slipped past a funeral in progress, and he averted his eyes from the scene of mourning. The traditional black attire and solemn faces worn by the mourners threatened to undo Greg, and he steeled himself against the rising tide of emotion. There was still so much untapped grief he knew he was keeping locked in some chamber of his heart, he wasn't sure he would be able to safely control its release if he let go too suddenly.

Intellectually, Greg knew he would have to lay down the burden at some point, and maybe today was going to be a step in that direction. The rest of Team One and remaining members of the SRU had had that luxury; they'd been able to attend the funeral of their fallen comrade. They'd been able to commiserate with each other; he'd been left to his own thoughts and emotions in the silence of his hospital room after everyone returned home after visiting hours.

Presently, Greg's arduous trek was over, and he felt Marina's hand slide from his elbow to encircle him about the shoulders. "Here we are," she said softly, though it was hardly necessary.

Greg gazed down at the polished granite headstone at his feet and drew in a ragged breath as he read the epitaph engraved there.

_Donna Sabine_

_1969-2012_

_Beloved Wife and Sister_

_In the Line of Duty_

_She Kept the Peace_

Shuffling forward, Greg set down the flowers he'd brought next to an arrangement of carnations and orchids that looked as if it had been placed quite recently. His knee screamed in pain as he straightened up, and a gasp escaped his lips.

Marina was there in a second, and she wordlessly supported him while he waited for the hurt to subside to tolerable levels.

"I'm okay," he finally said, giving the hand she'd placed on his arm a soft pat. "Thank you."

He knew it was important to assure her that he wanted her there; that he needed her to be there for him. There had been so much shared horror and tragedy in their lives, knowing he could rely on her, and she on him, was invaluable.

"I recruited her to the SRU, you know," Greg commented to Marina, as he recalled the lengthy process Team One went through to find the perfect candidate to fill the spot left empty when Jules Callaghan had been shot. "Jules had been sidelined indefinitely. We needed to find someone who could do the job, and the team chose Donna."

He recalled how eager the other members of the team had been to approve her admission to Team One.

'_She rappels like a spider!'_ Spike had raved.

'_Thinks on her feet_,' Lou had commented.

'_She's a no-brainer_,' Ed had put in after Wordy called for a vote, convinced that any other choice would be pure folly. Greg had admitted to them that Donna indeed had the chops for the job, but that he needed some time to think.

Standing now in the cemetery, Greg remembered he'd had some reservation about Donna, but couldn't think of what it was anymore. In the end, it hadn't mattered. They'd selected her, and she'd proved her mettle through some very difficult situations, eventually taking over the Team Three team leader position once Jules returned to active duty.

"Ed wanted her to stay when Jules came back," Greg continued, as memories of that time flowed through his mind like a rushing river.

"Well, she and Ed were close, weren't they?" Marina asked.

"Yeah," Greg replied, "they formed a strong bond when she was with us… he even walked her down the aisle when she married Hank…"

_Eddie… you saw something special in her; pushed her to be the best she could be… You could have fought harder to keep her on the team, but you deferred to my decision to welcome Jules back…_

The moment Greg was to tell Donna that she was being asked to relinquish her position played in his mind again. It was a moment that came on the heels of Donna's second SIU hearing following a call where she'd provided a vital piece of information they would not have had otherwise, thanks to her former days with Vice. She'd been the one to stop a drug dealer from killing a pregnant woman, firing the fatal shot when no one else could.

_Donna… You saved two lives that day, and how was I going to repay you? By telling you to leave Team One._

But she'd been gracious, already having seen the writing on the wall the moment Jules had showed up at headquarters that morning; she'd known what was coming, and had accepted her fate.

'_Can I make this easier on you?' _she'd asked Greg, as he stumbled over the best way to break the news to her. '_Team Three has a spot for me; they say it's got my name all over it.'_

He'd been pleasantly surprised by the news; happy that her skills would be still be put to use with the SRU. '_How do you feel about that?'_ he'd asked.

With a knowing smile, Donna had said: '_I'm not here to upset your team's center of gravity. Call me if you need me. If you need me, I'm going to be here.'_

Greg closed his eyes and sighed, feeling his chest tighten while his heart thudded painfully within.

_You kept your promise, Donna. You were there when we needed you, every single time. You were there when Eddie got shot, riding shotgun to Team One because we wanted to be the ones to apprehend his shooter… You could have protested and demanded that Team Three be allowed to take the case, but you let us take it so we could get justice for Ed._

_And Donna… you were there on that day, when we thought Anson Holt was the bomber. You wanted so badly to find Clark when you were at City Hall and you knew he was trapped there. You wanted to be the one to rescue him because you knew how much it meant to Eddie, because you cared so much for him… you could have disobeyed me, but you didn't. You knew we all needed to find the location of the rest of the bombs. You followed my orders to go after Holt. You followed my orders… and I… I sent you to your death… I sent you to your death…_

At this realization, Greg began to weep. Quiet sobs shook his shoulders and streams of tears coursed down his face. Marina, for the first time unsure of what to do as Greg continued to cry, kept a soothing hand on his back, offering the occasional caress. She was distressed at his outburst, and eventually fished in her purse for a packet of tissues to help him dry his tears. Greg gratefully accepted them and dabbed furiously at his watery eyes; blew his nose noisily.

_I'm so sorry, Donna… I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for devastating Hank, because it's my fault you're gone. I haven't even been able to tell him face to face how sorry I am. The life you wanted with him was much too short. He needs you, Donna; he needs you desperately. Your sister needs you. Team Three needs its leader. Eddie needs his friend... We need you, Donna. We need you to tell us you're okay; that you're not gone; that you made it out of that death trap alive; that this is some twisted nightmare and that you're going to walk right back into headquarters with your bright smile and your vibrant, courageous spirit. _

Greg glanced down one more time at the grave, struck once again by the finality of it all.

_Donna, I need you to forgive me. Please…_

Unexpectedly, a bird fluttered down at that moment and settled on the bouquet of yellow roses Greg had brought. It flipped its wings a few times and cocked its head to look up at Greg. Not daring to move lest he startle it from its perch, Greg held his breath as the bird continued to stare at him for several minutes.

Then, just as quickly as it appeared, it spread its wings again and took to the skies, vanishing from sight.

_I have to say goodbye now, Donna,_ Greg thought as he let go the breath he'd been holding. _It hurts to say goodbye, because the truth is we'll never stop needing you. Ever._

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_**END**  
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End file.
